HUMPHREY'S GUIDE TO THE CARE AND FEEDING OF HUMANS
- Like Hamsters, humans come in many, many sizes, shapes, colours, talents and tempers. If you judge them by looks alone, you'll miss out on knowing some wonderful people.
- Humans like to be entertained. And it doesn't take much to entertain them. Just squeak or swing or spin. They'll love it!
- Humans are pretty entertaining themselves. They can sing, dance, tell jokes and balance brooms.
- All humans REALLY-REALLY-REALLY need someone to listen to their problems. Preferably someone small and furry.
- Even really important humans (like headteachers) have problems and need help.
- Rubber bands hurt. Do not shoot rubber bands at one another. Unless it's absolutely the only weapon you have against a creature much bigger than you.
- Humans are not very good at working out technical things, like how to fix a broken lock.
- Humans have unlimited access to all kinds of yummy foods, so be nice to them!
- If you are nice to humans they will be nice to you. So nice, they might even build you a playground.
- Humans have good memories. Even if they go far away to teach in another country, they will not forget you. And believe me, you won't forget them either!
Most importantly, remember: you can learn a lot about yourself by getting to know another species. Even humans.
These tips are taken from The World According to Humphrey. If you've read it you'll know how Humphrey came to all these conclusions about humans.