My Books

Hello

My name is Betty G Birney.  I’ve known Humphrey ever since he first came to Longfellow School and I love sharing his adventures with all his friends and fans everywhere. I’ve worked at Disneyland and the Disney Studios, have written over two hundred episodes of children’s television shows and more than thirty-five books.

I hope you enjoy reading all about Humphrey and his adventures as much as I enjoy writing them.

Best-Best-Best wishes
Betty

Christmas According to Humphrey

Dear Friends

Jingle bells and dancing snowflakes, Christmas was coming and suddenly my life as a classroom hamster became unsqueakably exciting!

The music teacher, Miss Lark, spent a lot of time in Room 26, preparing our class for Longfellow School's Winter Wonderland show so there was plenty of FUN-FUN-FUN. But my classmates were also having some BIG-BIG-BIG problems. Could one small hamster solve them on his own?

Luckily, the spirit of the season managed to shine through and in the end it was definitely a Christmas to remember.

Season's squeaking to all,                        

Humphrey

Mysteries According to Humphrey

Dear Friends,

I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE my job as the classroom hamster of Room 26.

But when our teacher, Mrs Brisbane, didn't show up for school, I was unsqueakably worried about what had happened to her.

Then a supply teacher, the mysterious Mr E, arrived and everything  changed. Class was fun, but were my classmates learning anything? And  what had happened to our wonderful teacher?

I had my paws full as I gathered clues to solve the mystery and also tried to help my friends deal with their problems.

At last, on Halloween, everything was revealed . . . but in a frightful and delightful way!

Your furry friend,
Humphrey

9780571255436


School According to Humphrey
Coming February 2011

Dear Friends,

After a fur-raising holiday at Camp Happy Hollow, I looked forward to returning to Room 26 to see all my old friends.

Mrs. Brisbane was still there, but I was shocked to find the classroom full of strangers, like Rolling Rosie, Hurry-Up-Harry and Forgetful Phoebe. At first, all I wanted to do was find my old classmates. But I soon learned that these new students Really-Really-Really needed a helping paw from me.

In the end, I learned that even if you’re a small hamster, you can never have too many friends!

Your furry friend,
Humphrey

9780571255412

The World According to Humphrey

Dear Friends,

When I first arrived at Longfellow School, I was unsqueakably happy! After all, the life of a classroom pet is Fun-Fun-Fun!

However, going home each weekend with a different student turned out to be quite a challenge, because humans need a lot of help! Along the way, I learned to shoot rubber bands at a nosy dog, teach a shy girl to squeak up for herself, help the caretaker find true love and star in the Halloween party. I really had my paws full … especially since the teacher, Mrs. Brisbane was definitely out to get me! (It makes my whiskers quiver just to think about it!)

I’ve written down my adventures so you can see that you can learn a lot about yourself by observing another species … especially humans!

Your friend always,
Humphrey

9780571255412

Friendship According to Humphrey
Coming February 2011

Dear Friends,

When Og the Frog came to live in Room 26, I felt a little jealous. Still, I tried to be welcoming but I soon discovered that it's Hard-Hard-Hard to make friends with a lumpy, bumpy frog!

Then I found out that my fellow students were having problems with their friends, too. A.J. and Garth had to deal with a bully named Mean Martin Bean. Heidi and Gail had a terrible argument, and Miranda-Golden had a new stepsister who wasn't nice at all. Then there was the Poetry Festival, the magic show and the snowstorm! How could one small hamster solve all those problems? Luckily, I wrote the whole story in my notebook so you could share my adventures.

Your friend to the end,
Humphrey

9780571255412

Trouble According to Humphrey

Dear Friends,

Room 26 of Longfellow School, where I live, is usually a peaceful place. But all of a sudden, problems popped up. Pay-Attention-Art’s marks went Down-Down-Down.Don’t Complain-Mandy-Payne’s family had unsqueakable problems. Worst of all, Golden-Miranda, an almost perfect human, was in big trouble . . . and it was all my fault!

How could one small (but smart) hamster solve all these problems without getting into more trouble? You can find out all about my latest adventures right here!

Your funny, furry friend,
Humphrey

9780571255412

Surprises According to Humphrey

Dear Friends,

I love my life as the classroom hamster in Room 26 of Longfellow School because it's always full of surprises. This time, there are fire alarms ringing, whistles blowing, Wacky Wednesday, an exciting new hamster ball, and a close encounter with an unsqueakably unfriendly cat. Eek! Even more surprising, an alien from outer space takes over Aldo’s job! How can one little hamster keep up with it all? You’ll find out in my latest book of adventures, so Read-Read-Read!

Humphrey

9780571237173

More Adventures According to Humphrey

Ahoy, maties!

As a classroom hamster I’ve had many adventures. My biggest was when my boat almost sank to the bottom of Potter’s Pond. And that was before I met up with some Scary-Scary-Scary pirates!

My paw was still shaking when I first scribbled the tale in my notebook, and I left out a few details. But now I’ve written out the whole story, including my mysterious midnight trips to the library and the unsqueakably wonderful surprise at the end.

Your adventurous pal,
Humphrey

9780571237180

Holidays According to Humphrey

Dear Friends,

I was unsqueakably worried when I learned that the end of school was near! I couldn't imagine life without Longfellow School, and I was unsqueakably worried about what I would do once I lost my job as classroom pet.

It turned out that summer was wilder than school could ever be. I saw new sights, made new friends and had Fun-Fun-Fun. But I also had to deal with strange new creatures, Og's mysterious disappearance and the scary-sounding Howler!

It wasn't the most relaxing holiday but it turned out to be my greatest adventure yet – and now you can read all about it!

Your pal forever,
Humphrey

9780571250905

Humphrey's Great-Great-Great Book of Stories

Surprises, More Adventures and Holidays According to Humphrey in one bumper edition!

9780571255948

Humphrey's Big-Big-Big Book of Stories

The World, Friendship and Trouble According to Humphrey in one bumper edition!

9780571241316

Book 5: My Treasure Hunt Trouble!

"I was unsqueakably excited when Garth took Og the frog and me home for the weekend, because he was having a birthday party! I was expecting to have a GREAT-GREAT-GREAT time. I wasn't expecting there to be a thief, hidden treasure, and a mystery only I could solve!".

This is a specially extended version of Humphry's 2011 World Book Day Book.

Book 1: My Pet Show Panic!

Dear Friends,

I'm a classroom hamster, but I’m not always at school. On the weekends, I have Fun-Fun-Fun going home with different students.  

One Saturday, my friend A.J. entered me in a pet show. There were dogs, cats, a talking parrot and even a strange creature called Nick the Stick.  

I was worried about winning a prize until something happened that caused a total panic. Then all I was worried about was getting home in one piece!

I hope you enjoy my unsqueakably big adventure.

Your furry pal,
Humphrey

9780571246328

Book 2: My Summer Fair Surprise!

Dear Friends,

I'm a classroom hamster, but I'm not always at school. On the weekends, I have Fun-Fun-Fun going home with different students. 

One Saturday, my friend A.J. entered me in a pet show. There were dogs, cats, a talking parrot and even a strange creature called Nick the Stick. 

I was worried about winning a prize until something happened that caused a total panic. Then all I was worried about was getting home in one piece!

I hope you enjoy my unsqueakably big adventure.

Your furry pal,
Humphrey

9780571246311

Book 3: My Creepy-Crawly Camping Adventure

Dear Friends,

When Heidi said she was having a camping night in her garden I was VERY-VERY-VERY excited. I tried not to worry about the creepy crawly things outside, until something happened that made everyone shiver and quiver!

It was an unsqueakably big adventure!  

Your friend,

Humphrey

Book 4: My Great Big Birthday Bash!
Dear friends,

I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE sharing my adventures as a classroom hamster with all my friends. But sometimes my paw gets tired from so much writing! To give it a rest, I've written some shorter tales that are every bit as funny and exciting as my According to Humphrey books. They're called Humphrey's Tiny Tales and they've even  got illustrations! (I'm quite pleased at how cute I look in the  pictures.)
I'm unsqueakably excited to share my new stories with  you and I think Humphrey fans and new younger readers will be excited, too!

Your furry friend,
Humphrey



9780571274413


Humphrey's World of Pets

Dear friends,
Humans love their pets, and pets like me love their humans. I'm unsqueakably excited to share everything I've learned in Classroom 26 and beyond about the world of pets with you.
And hamsters aren't the only pets! Do you know how to look after a chinchilla? What is a puppy's favourite food? As well as learning top pet-care tips, you can tell me all about your pets in the special My Precious Pet section. I can't wait to meet them!

Your furry friend,
Humphrey

9780571270262


Humphrey's Ha-Ha-Ha Joke Book

Dear Friends,

I Love-Love-Love being the classroom hamster of Room 29. I’ve learnt lots about making friends and making them laugh along the way. So I’ve decided to collect my favourite jokes together in this Ha-Ha-Ha hilarious joke book. And best of all, I included your favourite jokes as well. Thank you readers, for making me laugh too.

Your funny friend,
Humphrey

9780571270255

Humphrey's Book of Fun-Fun-Fun

Dear Friends,

I Love-Love-Love being the classroom hamster in Room 26, Longfellow School. I’ve learned a lot about reading, writing, maths and making friends … and I’ve had amazing adventures in and out of my cage, too. But I also love solving puzzles and riddles in the tiny notebook I keep hidden in my cage. They’re not always easy but if I wiggle my whiskers and scratch my furry head for a while, I usually can solve them.

I’m sharing some of my favourites in this fun-filled book so you can find out if you’re as smart as a hamster! (I’ll bet you are.)

Your puzzle-loving pal,
Humphrey

9780571254248

Friendship According to Humphrey [CD]

Humphrey the hamster's second adventure, also read by Greg Proops.

9780571240425

The World According to Humphrey [CD]

The first Humphrey adventure, brought to life in audio edition here by comedian Greg Proops.

9780571240449